I had this epiphany today, about my intent when I started this Tumblog, and how to actually achieve that intent. I want to escape the apathy that constantly hounds me and stops me from achieving anything worthwhile. This blog was supposed to inspire me and lift me out of the rut that I all-too-often return to, but it’s become a symptom instead. I waste hours every day trying to see everything that comes up on my dash and I can’t reduce that by unfollowing people because everyone of them posts gems amongst the dross.
So far I’ve posted things that make me feel alive - animals being awesome, bikes, cars, fashion, food, truth, vocabulary, weapons, the inevitable zombie apocalypse, and beauty of the female, architectural, interior, and natural kinds. I know what I like, that was never in question. What I’m going to do from now on is post things I do and think that make me feel alive; only when I escape apathy will I post something.
I’ll still watch my dash, but I’m going to limit the time I spend doing so. This way, I can stop vicariously pseudo-living and feeling like a failure in the world, and start enjoying my self and being a better, more successful person because of that enjoyment.
I was doing a delivery, and the lift wasn’t working, and there was no way I was dragging a loaded handtruck up 2 flights of stairs with a lift there. So I worked out why the lift wasn’t working, which turned out to be that the outer doors weren’t shutting properly. I managed to jimmy them enough that they’d close properly on their own, and completed the delivery.
There’s something about problem solving like that - solving a technical, but real-world problem, even a simple one - that is really satisfying. It made me feel alive.
This ma leg…