I rode my BMX for the first time in probably a year the other day. My legs could still handle it, surprisingly enough. Felt good to be weaving ‘round people on the path, and racing down roads ahead of the traffic again, wind rushing in my ears, blood thumping in my veins, legs burning.
“You’re obliged to pretend respect for people and institutions you think absurd. You live attached in a cowardly fashion to moral and social conventions you despise, condemn, and know lack all foundation. It is that permanent contradiction between your ideas and desires and all the dead formalities and vain pretenses of your civilization which makes you sad, troubled and unbalanced. In that intolerable conflict you lose all joy of life and all feeling of personality, because at every moment they suppress and restrain and check the free play of your powers. That’s the poisoned and mortal wound of the civilized world.”
I like it when someone has already articulated a thought that has lurked, nebulous, in the back of my mind for who knows how long.
I was doing a delivery, and the lift wasn’t working, and there was no way I was dragging a loaded handtruck up 2 flights of stairs with a lift there. So I worked out why the lift wasn’t working, which turned out to be that the outer doors weren’t shutting properly. I managed to jimmy them enough that they’d close properly on their own, and completed the delivery.
There’s something about problem solving like that - solving a technical, but real-world problem, even a simple one - that is really satisfying. It made me feel alive.